Love at first sip
by omegalynn
Summary: FordArthur slash. Rated for future content of: Adult Situations, Language, and possible violence. Warning:This Is A Slash. If you don't like them, don't read it.
1. To begin with

**A/N** Second story!!! IfI get enough reviews, I'll add some very limey/lemony parts to the story! But please review! Reviews make me happy! ok, heres a 'real' summery::

Title: Love at first sip

Characters: right now: Ford and Arthur, mutiple barmen, maybe Zaphod will drop in if you ask nicely. Oh, and maybe Fenny (boo)

Setting: Good question. England perhaps, or a world like it.

Review # 0 Enjoy everyone, and please review!

**Ch 1.**

'Ford is humming,' thought Arthur desperately 'again.'

Indeed Ford was humming, humming something he was making up on the spot. He was humming because he was drunk, as was Arthur, which in fact, is the best way to go about humming, being drunk that is.

'Ford, you're humming' said Arthur, stating the obvious.

'Arthur' Ford said, now annoyed at the rude disruption of his humming, which was exactly what Arthur intended. 'I realize this. You always were good at stating the obvious'

Arthur thought about that statement for awhile, and as soon as it was too late to say something and be anywhere in the same galaxy as witty, he said 'Well you stick with what you know'

There wasn't a response from Ford.

'Ford?' asked Arthur timidly.

'What'

'Nothing.' admitted Arthur 'Nothing at all'

'Well that's ok then' said Ford with a sigh, as he was now awake and sober.

Time passed, with Ford glancing at Arthur every few seconds.

'Well?'

'Well what?'

'Well what do you want to do?' asked Ford with an impatient sigh.

'You're asking me?' said Arthur, surprised.

'Well I guess that I can take that as a "I don't know', so get up!' Said Ford and he prepared to leave.

'Where are we going?' asked Arthur.

'We're going to look for an adventure'

Arthur followed Ford obediently until they came up to a pub. 'Well figures' muttered Arthur under his breath.

'What was that?' Ford prompted.

'Nothing, Well, erm, I'm just…relieved. I mean, I can deal with a pub, that's not too bad-I mean different.'

Ford then did something Arthur hated to see. Ford smiled wide, with almost a hint of sinster hidden deep withen the folds of his lips.

'Oh no'

Ford than grabbed Arthur by the arm and pulled him into the alley next to the pub. He pushed him against the wall and stood very close.

'You're bloody standing too close, Move Ford!' Arthur looked afraid at Ford.

Ford blinked for the sake of Arthur's well being and moved. Closer. And kissed him. On the lips. He moved away after a minute. Arthur tilted his head to the side, than smiled. They kissed again.


	2. A Nighttime stroll

Ch 2

After about a half hour of fun in the alley, they remembered the large amounts of alcohol to be had inside, do in they went.

Ford and Arthur went up to the bar and sat. Ford ordered a Pan Gargle Blaster to which the bar man smile at, knowing well that after he drank one, he'd have another five at least. Arthur ordered a beer, to which the barman also smiled at, because Arthur would have to have five beers to match one of Ford's Pan Gargle Blaster. The barman figured that the two would want to be equally drunk, after having witnessed from inside the scene that had happened outside, and he assumed they would be quite happy being very drunk together.

The two sat down and Arthur looked at Ford warily, afraid of what he'd do next.

Ford looked at Arthur warily, afraid of what he was going to say next.

At the same time Arthur asked 'What was that, just out there?' Ford took Arthur's hand in his own.

Arthur looked at Ford.

Ford looked at Arthur.

After a minute Ford smiled at Arthur.

A minute later Arthur smiled at Ford.

Before Ford could surprise him again Arthur said 'Ford, what is this?'

'Well,' Ford said after some consideration 'We are sitting in a nice pub, waiting for some stiff drinks, and they have not come yet. 'And I am holding, which is quite soft.'

'Yes, but what do you make of it?' Arthur asked plaintively.

'Which bit?' Ford said with a grin. ' The part about the drinks not coming or me kissing you or me holding your hand? I, by the way, am not happy with our lack of Pan Gargle Blasters.'

Arthur looked at Ford 'The bit in the alley. What was that…what…why…but. Erm" Arthur concluded intelligently.

'Listen Arthur' Ford said 'Do you remember when we met again on prehistoric earth and you couldn't shook my hand and I said I was glad to see you? Well…I meant it.' Ford looked warily at Arthur.

'Well'

Ford moved one hand from Arthur and played near Arthur's elbow and started to stoke it still having his other hand hold Arthur's as if holding him there so he wouldn't walk away.

Arthur smiled until he realized just what he was smiling at.

Arthur frowned until he realized that he would rather be smiling and bugger it all. Arthur smiled again.

'You know we're getting alot of stares' Arthur said.

'Well, that's ok then' said Ford.

By this time they had both had many drinks (which I remarkable on Fords part, as both his hands were busy with Arthur) and they were both a bit 'tipsy'. The bar man, now realized that the scene these two were making couldn't be good, so he sent them off into the dark night.

Ford led the way again and Arthur again followed. They went on this way until they were out of sight distance of the pub and prying eyes. Then Ford took Arthur's hand and pulled him forward to where they were walking side by side.

'Ford, I'm not sure…' Arthur began.

Ford cut in 'That's ok. I am'.

Arthur just shrugged. The beer had started to take toll on his thinking so he decided to stop. Instead he decided just to hold Ford's hand and walk. Arthur was very proud of his idea, as was Ford.

After some time they ran out of paved road and so they walked on the ground until they came up to a field. After having walked in so much silence, Arthur found it hard to think of something worth saying with out breaking the mood. So he didn't. Insead he turned to Ford and surprisingly winked at him.

Ford was besides himself with the braveness of his Arthur. Ford stoped. He called him 'his'. He looked over to Arthur and smiled.

Arthur was confused at what he had done. He then thought (though he thought he had decided against doing so) and shrugged. What ever happens, happens (A/N: we all know where that's from).

A/N: ok, next chappie up! Hope ya like it, and if ya do, tell me!!! :-


	3. Betelgeuse mating tricks

Ch 4

Arthur smiled and squeezed Ford's hand. He took a step closer and started to run his free hand through Ford's ginger hair.

Ford flashed Arthur one of those frighteningly wide grins, then pushed Arthur on to the ground. Arthur looked up at Ford with confusion at first, than he grinned and grabbed Ford's hand, pulling him down as well.

Ford landed atop Arthur but slightly moved over, as not to rush things and scare Arthur. Ford brought his lips down to Arthur's for a sweet innocent kiss.

At this point Ford remembered who he was, and the innocence ended. Again Ford's lips met Arthur's, this time with much more force. Arthur didn't kiss him back. Ford looked into his eyes, an old Betelgeuse mating trick.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy _has this to say about Betelgeuse mating tricks:_  
_Betelgeuseans have many different mating tricks, though they do not know this as they come natural to them. When a Betelgeusean discovers that they may need extra help seducing a potential mate, they also do what seems natural to them: they look into they're partner's eyes. Doing this causes their potential mate to loose all hesitation. _

Ford looked into Arthur's eyes.

Arthur looked back into Ford's eyes.

Ford again brought his lips crashing down on Arthur's, this time with Arthur Dent kissing back with equal intensity.

A/N well i hope you liked it. Ch 2 came so slowly, i'm sorry. I just couldn't sit and type. Now, on to chap 4!!! Please leave reviews!!! if i get enough, i'll add more limey content. You'll have to wait for lemony goodness though...not enough readers!


	4. Tricking an Earthman

Ok here's the next chapter. I'm sorry it took so long, I had a bad case of procrastination... But I think I'm over that. I got tons of reviews! Thank you! That tells me that a few people have read it, and it also reminds me to write. Thanks sooo much for them, and I can't wait to hear what you think about this chapter! Oh, and sorry about the confusion, if anyone caught it, the last chapter was Chapter 3, and this is Chapter 4! Well, enjoy!

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Chapter 4. (The real chap 4 this time)

Arthur opened his eyes. He was in a semi-dark room, lying very close to Ford Prefect. No mornings, including Thursdays, could turn out to be any good when he found himself lying next to Ford Prefect.

Arthur rolled over away from Ford and screamed.

Ford rolled over towards reached over Arthur and covered his mouth with his hand. They couldn't be heard as they had been tucked away in one of a bright green ships many cargo holds. Ford's eyes shot open with the thought that he didn't have to reach too far. He smiled and looked over at Arthur who was in the same condition as him; completely hung over and completely naked. 'Well good morning, how did you sleep?'

Arthur move away from Ford, rolled over and sighed. Slowly, he sat up. 'What happened now?'

As Arthur and Ford were looking for various parts of clothing strewn around, Ford tried to remember the events of the previous night. Ford and Arthur both found their trousers but couldn't find shirts. They both looked at each other and grinned. Ford said to him as he sat down 'You'd better sit down.'

Ford looked over at Arthur. He said 'We were drunk and you wanted me to take advantage of you. I didn't because you were drunk.' Arthur sighed with relief. 'You didn't like my answer, so I assured you it was for your own good. We found a nice green craft and hopped on board, and thank goodness they didn't see us. You kept complaining about my lack of advantage so I told you that you wouldn't remember anyway, and that I'd take care of you when you were sober. Which I'm assuming is now?'

Arthur tilted his head to one side and thought. As he thought, he looked around the room they were in. The two men had been lying on a pile of blankets, he assumed came from the open and empty boxes to the left of them. He was having problems thinking as he was severely hung over. He came up at the end that he had been tricked, and as other Earthmen before him did, he resolved to fix it.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy _has this to say about Earthmen who have been tricked: Earthmen (ape descendents from earth, see: Vogon destruction) are quite clueless creatures that have the habit of being tricked. When such an occasion occurs, they generally try to resolve this by doing exactly what they were tricked into thinking that's what they wanted to do. In essence, the most succeeding way to get an Earthman to do something is to trick them into thinking that they don't want to do it. _

Arthur thought on how to act. When that didn't work he simply acted.

He pushed Ford on his back and rolled over on him, while staring fiercely at Ford as he straddled his hips. Ford had a look of surprise, which turned into a look of complete comfort with the situation. Arthur paused "um…." Ford looked up and sighed pretending to be annoyed. Arthur thought he was mad and presently got hard at the thought. Ford pushed Arthur off him and changed their positions, so he was in the same position Arthur was in a moment before.

Arthur was frightened. This wasn't the type of situation he generally found himself in, with Ford on his hips, with Ford's hands running through his hair, with Fords big, beautiful eyes staring back at him. Arthur, understandably, was frightened.

Ford was frightened. This was the type of situation he generally found himself in, and sincerely liked where he was. But he usually wasn't in this type of situation with Arthur, with Arthur's hips between his legs, with Ford running his hair through his Arthur's hair, with Arthur's large, somewhat dulled from the universe relentlessly messing with him, eyes staring back at him. Ford was, understandably frightened.

'Er' said Arthur, who was trying to come up with what to do next.

Ford shrugged and bent down and kissed him. He licked the bottom of Arthur's lips, asking for entrance, but Arthur wouldn't allow him. Ford backed his head away slightly; their lips slightly touching, which made Arthur shudder, sighed, and asked ' What is it?'

Ford turned his head and looked into the direction Arthur was staring into. Ford's mouth turned into one of his frightens grins as he looked at the peculiar man before them. Technique the figure before them wasn't a man, or as they were commonly called, Earthmen, but a native of Betelgeuse. Before them was the one and only Zaphod Beeblebox.

Zaphod looked down at them and both of his heads grinned as he said 'Ford you are one hellova froody guy.'

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Well did you like it? Let me know by hitting that little button on the bottom! It only takes a minute and it cant hurt that much. And if you leave a signed review, I try to check out your stories and leave reviews! So it works out for the both of us. Thanks for all the reviews, and if you have suggestions (other then for lemon/limes, i know you want those) then please let me know! omegalynn


	5. Arthur Troubles

A/N Chapter 5! Hope you enjoy! And thank you love, for your beta-ing, '_Help_', museings and... insperation

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Chapter 5 Arthur Troubles

Ford looked at Zaphod and sighed. To Arthur he said 'Ya know, we're never going to get anywhere with interruptions like this. Damn you Arthur!'

Arthur glanced up at Ford looking upset and confused. Ford's expression softened upon finding Arthur's eyes upon him and he reached out for Arthur Dent's hand as he explained, 'Not you Arthur. The Author, the one who's making us do all of this. The one the muse comes to, and then she puts off writing it. Not you Arthur Dent. The Author is giving us this woe.'

_'**The Author?' said the Authoress. 'What kind of foolishness is this? People have asked for you to get farther in this relationship. You both look as lost as a lemon looking for a gin. What's wrong?' said the very annoyed Authoress. **_

'Well' said Arthur Dent fearfully 'Personally, I don't have any idea what's going on.'

'**_Wing it!' cried the disgruntled Authoress._ **

Ford nodded when Arthur Dent said his bit, and then said 'Well we would bloody wing it, but you…' he cut himself off with one of those frightening grins.

**_The Authoress raises one eyebrow, and tilts her head._**

Ford resumed with a sly smile '…you don't even know what your writing about. You can't even write us kissing properly, can you? What happens if-' he paused and cleared his throat happily at the thought 'When we have sex. It will be a disgrace to me. And we all know that I'm a frood who really knows where their towel is.'

**_The Authoress is very upset._**

Zaphod, Ford, and Arthur Dent gave each other freighted looks at the thought of the upset Authoress.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy _has this to say about upset Authoress': Should an Authoress become upset and come forth in a story that is presently being written, the charactershowever hoopy they may be, are in a load of trouble. The Authoress will decide what sort of action must be taken, usually to the Authoress' advantage, and then will put it into the story, where it will not belong._ The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy _wonders what all this has to do with Hitchhiking, but doesn't ask questions. It gives answers._

Zaphod had remained silent through this entire conversation, and now decided to put his two cents in. "Well, I do have an idea.' Everyone groaned. 'Hey hey, now. Just listen everybody. What if this great Miss Authoress brought in Outside help?'

At this everyone grins.

**_The Authoress puts in that this is her story, and the events that are going to take place are going to turn out exactly as she wants them to._ **

Outside help gives the Authoress a sly grin and places his arm around her shoulder. She gives Zaphod, Ford, and Arthur Dent a quick glance, and all three presently turn their heads (two in the case of Zaphod) and start whistling tuneless melodies.

The Authoress turns back to Help, who is still giving her that sly smile. She shrugs at him, unprepared of what to do. Help leans towards the great, wise but slightly clumsy Authoress as she leans back, almost laying down. Help takes his other hand and places it on her neck, and brings his lips to hers. The Authoress simply sits there, extremely uncomfortable. Help moves his head back slightly, and raises one eyebrow. The Authoress gives a small worried smile. He brings his lips back to hers, nibbling and tugging and pulling at them, until she starts to move her lips, and tug back. As soon as she opens her mouth, his tongue darts in, moving around, learning her every curve. At his bold movement she gasped, opening her mouth wider, and he took full advantage of that, deepening the kiss.

The Authoress gets an idea. She starts rubbing her tongue along his, making him shudder. Her hand flies across her page, as she takes notes. Her hands are busy, Help realizes, but his are simply lying on his lap. He takes one hand and pulls her face towards him, and then moves it to her scalp, running his hand through her hair. He then takes his other hand and pulls the bottom of her shirt up slightly, and lays his hand on her stomach. She pauses both writing and her mouth.

**_Smack!_**

_'**NO! You know my rules, for I am omnipotent! My clothes stay on and my feet stay on the ground!' She pauses. 'Oh what the hell, this isn't my story.'**_

The two resume as they were, with Help's hand on her stomach, until Ford, Arthur Dent and Zaphod all make small noises to let them know that there are other people in the room still. The Authoress and Help look up with matching blushes on their faces. Help walked out of the spaceship's room. Upon further inspection on the Authoress' hand there was an arrangement of numbers, but this isn't her story.

The Authoress poofed in a cloud of remembrance of simple omnipotence but absence from the story.

Arthur Dent and Ford simply looked at each other and grinned.

Zaphod raised both pairs of eyes brows and sighed at the sight of the two men in front of him as he walked from the room in his usual drunken stupor.

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Well. Did you like it? The chapters are getting longer. I'm going to try to have the next chapter even longer, and up by next week. Please Review! You haven't the slightest clue how happy that makes me when you do! Thanks Omega 


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